Love and Hate Relationship

Ok so I just had to get something off my chest, since its been bothering me for quite a while. Have you had a love and hate relationship, by that I don't mean with a guy, but a friendship that meant the world to you but then again...





So basically I had this friend with whom I was always close with. I think its fair to say that she was once one of my good friends, but looking back now I am just so happy I left her behind. Sounds really mean but I'm positive she feels the same way. There was always competition between us to do well since in our school we were the only "high-achieving" black girls. We both did everything together and had similar if not the same interests in everything. We were both A grade students in Art, dance, etc, etc.

However it got to a time when she was slacking behind, grades dropping vigoursly. This is when we started to drift apart because she was into "Living The Life", going out, drinking, bunking lessons and stuff, whereas I was more "Read a Novel a Day" type of person, also I was becoming more of a practising Christian. It was then that my motivations kicked in, picking up grades where she dropped them.

The aim of our friendship then was only to beat eachother out on who got the highest grades. Though I was winning in that department, my life now only consisted in work,work,work, whereas she was enjoying her life, an area in which I was missing. The only time when we did speak was when we had to be polite. Its sad because we shared everything together and as the other black girl in my class I didn't feel so alone and I had someone to share stories with. As time went on, we parted ways and started to see significant differences between ourselves. I was tall and athletic, whereas she was short and round, I was dark, she was light. I loved poetry and ballet, she loved garage and grime. The differences were endless. We'd grown so apart that we questioned why we were friends in the first place.

I guess where we really broke it off was when we pointed out eachothers insecurities. It was then that I decided that I wanted nothing to do with friends, I was there for school and nothing else. By then nothing mattered to me but getting my grades up even if it meant losing everyone else and to be honest I didn't care then and I don't care now. Its sad because we both felt like we had to step on each other to get to the top.

Now at the end of the year, i didn't know her, she didn't know me. School was my life. Parties were hers. I had no intention of reconnecting and to my relief me and my family were moving away. A breath of fresh air.

Sad though right after that we had another mini arguement, she said "if you walk out of that door, I will never speak to you again" ...


I walked out of 'that' door. haven't spoken to her since...