You know when you have those days where you feel happy and fulfilled but then something happens and you feel like burnt pancakes. How one thing can make you feel worthless... Yes well this is one of those days.
I feel as though if I were to fail the course I'm on, it would only be because of maths. Sitting in the exam hall today I felt overwhelmed with anger and frustration because looking at the paper in front of me i knew what the questions was asking of me and I knew the method in which to do them but I just could not do it, the answers to the questions would just not leave my head unto the paper . The exam was 45 minutes long and there were only a small amount of questions to answer but even then I found it difficult to finish it on time so when the invidglator said there was only 5 minutes left I quickly put down the first thing that came into my head into the blank spaces. I think I did so for about 3 or maybe 4 of the questions. Now since there were only 30 marks to be gained and one mark for most of the questions (No marks for working out or anything!) My head went into overdrive and I started sobbing. All I could literally think of is I am going to fail, not this exam but this course - all my work will go to WASTE.
This is contrasts my love for that ICT exam I did on Monday and Tuesday. They were so easy for me that I was literally thanking God all throughout the paper for making it so easy peasy. But the weird thing is though, that I didn't really pay much attention in the English & ICT classes but I was o with them. Not quite the same with maths. I can say that I put my heart and soul into those lessons just so I could be a little bit better at maths and I think thats why I cried so much today; because I feel like I put a lot in it - after college, before college, during certain lessons... And I've just had it thrown right back at me. I've come to a point now where I don't know what to do, I'm tired and I've had enough. I've hated maths for as long as I can remember and I give up... *Sigh*