Home Sick,

So i'm feeling a little home sick today. I was actually looking for Dutch bicycles and found myself on this website  about the dutch culture and I actually teared up. I just miss it sooo much and I think about where I live now  (England) and where I used to live and I'm just whyyyy mama why - I mean she doesn't like this place and nor do I but *sigh* what can I do. I'm planning to move back after university but for now all I can do is just pray and hope God takes me back. Oh and for those that have no clue what I'm speakin' about, I'm Dutch, born and raised there, Rotterdam to be exact but then I came to England for some unknown reason. (Still to investigate)
I remember going back there last year for my birthday and just feeling at home, speaking Dutch, watching people ride bicycles, the trams, the fresh bread and the smell of the coffee shops. But then it hit me, I couldn't live this life - not anymore, no longer could I be part of that culture, my culture. I get so frustrated sometimes because I feel as though I've been robbed of my culture and of my country. I was 11 when I first came to live in England and immediatly I felt as a lost foreigner within this country and I still do. Although I speak English most of the time - I just yearn to speak my first language and sometimes it's quite difficult to put this into words. I am not comfortable anwhere apart from Holland. Also I have this mentallity that every year spent in this country means me becoming less Dutch which is a nightmare I refuse to let happen. I know this sounds kinda dramatic and all but trust me,  I've watered down a lot on this thing. There's so much I still wish to put out, however I believe there is a time and place for everything, this may be the time-but it's definitly not the place.

Here are a few photos I gathered from a website called http://www.ski-epic.com/amsterdam_bicycles/ , and this guy went on holiday to Amsterdam, Holland and brought back some pictures.  The main thing here are the bicycles, they're like a trademark in Holland. "You don't own a bike, you ain't Dutch" lol