I'm TWO decades old

Cheers to life
If anyone asks me how old I am now, I'll say "Oh I'm only a couple of decades". Not twenty, no, but I'll say I'm two decades old. A whole two decades, I'll leave them to figure out what on earth that means. Because saying I'm two decades old sounds a lot more authoritive, and now that I'm an adult and all that - I demand respect... I'm being deadly serious - BOW DOWN PEASANTS! I didn't want to turn 2 decades though, in fact I never really wanted to be born in the first place. Ask my mother she said they had to pull me out. Hanging on to the umbilical cord and everything... But I think I'm settled now, I'm okay... I'm no longer a teenager and that's perfectly okay... Now I have to own up to things and be responsible (that word tastes funny in my mouth), I'm okay... All I'm saying is, now that I'm an adult, someone obviously needs to hand over a cool million - Why? Because I'm two decades old.

Bow down peasants.

No. Really.