MURMURS, MUMBLES + MUTTERS


Hey,

I just wanted to thank you all so much for your love and support on my previous blogpost. There's a slight chance, that you'll probably won't see this, but I don't know how else to thank you. Amma Mamma, Cinni (Candid Cinni), Tanay Howard, Simone(Serenity Spot) and Samantha (Our AD...Ls). I'm okay. I went to see Thor 2 yesterday with my old housemate - It was really good, (SPOILER ALERT) I was telling her that Loki, just won't die! In every film he's featured in, he always comes back somehow. Which leads me to believe that there will be a Thor 3 out soon (Of course I will be watching that one too when it's out. I see you Chris Hemsworth *wink wink* ;)
Anyways, I've been praying, more mumbling,murmuring and muttering than speaking words though. I keep being okay, then not being okay. But as a whole, I'm okay... Does this make any kind of sense, haha. I guess what I'm trying to say is, on a whole, I'm okay, but in little areas and situations, I have bouts of insecurity and stuff. Which I trust will always be there, I just need to find a way to deal with that. I have to work at being happy. Finding happiness is difficult, no wonder people try to buy it, it's so much easier. I bought three pair of shoes and three lipstick tubes. Am I buying happiness? These things made me happy for a while, but of course they've faded. I'm not trying to rely on material matter for happiness, even though it's so easy to do so. Even in typing this, I feel like I'm mumbling.  I went to church today. I don't know. I'll probably keep going, but honestly, I don't want to go anymore. Those people look like strangers to me. I have to work on relationships outside of sexual again. I'm trying, but I don't know if I'm trying hard enough. Yeah, I'll go again next week and in the meantime, I'll keep reading my bible and speaking to God. As negative as this blog post probably feels, it really isn't! In just a week, I'm seeing God change me and raise me and soothe me after his discipline. I really do feel okay, or rather I am okay. So thank you again for your support and prayers. I'm doing good. Minor stumble.

//Love.x